Fight it Out!
by sinj
Summary: Gibbs orders Kate and Tony to resolve their issues in an unusual way. TATE. New chapter finally up! Kate gets a bit of revenge.
1. The challenge

Disclaimer: NCIS and it's characters are not owned by me. Yet more evidence that the universe is not fair.

Author's Note: Hiya, I've been a reader in this genre for a couple of months and I had a little gem of an idea for a story which has developed into this. Review and let me know if I should continue with the story.

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There is only so much patience one person can possess, unless you're a saint or have deep powers of meditation. Sadly, Kate reflected, she didn't fall into either category. And, more dangerously for Tony, her general reaction, once she lost her patience, was usually quite violent.

There was a muted clattering sound as a couple of paper clips hit the floor.

This was really quite ominous. Normally, a paperclip is so slight that when it hits the ground little sound, if any, is made. It was a measure of Kate's frustration when she shook her head that the force with which she dislodged them was great enough for them to make a clearly audible noise when they hit the ground.

Tony grimaced then plastered a cocky smile onto his face. He knew he was in trouble, but there was no way in hell that he'd let Kate know how much she could intimidate him. He broadened his smile as Kate rose, cracking her fingers before looking directly at him and narrowing her eyes.

"Gym. Now, DiNozzo."

It was said flatly but with a hint of steely determination.

"Huh?"

"You heard me. Gym. _Now!_ You and I are gonna settle this once and for all."

"HUH?"

Tony was now looking seriously alarmed from Kate to Gibbs who was sat watching the exchange placidly. Any hopes Tony entertained that his boss would give him an easy out faded when he saw the slightly amused look on Gibbs' features.

"Sounds fair to me, Tony. Kate and you can resolve your issues the old-fashioned way."

There was a pause. No-one moved. If it had been the old Wild West a ball of tumbleweed would have rolled across the floor. It seemed like the whole of the bull-pen was zeroing in on the unfolding scene.

"I mean it Tony. I'm sick of my agents bickering. Fight it out. Whoever wins sets the rules for your behaviour towards each other. McGee go with them as referee."

"Huh? B-Boss?"

Now it was McGee's turn to look alarmed. The new agent was turning positively green at the prospect. Gibbs raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're right. Abby'd be better. You guys swing by the lab and pick her up. Don't come back until this is resolved."

Gibbs gave the pair a piercing glare before turning back to the file on his desk. They had their orders and were clearly dismissed.

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Please, please review. Should I continue?

I'm suffering from block at the moment on all my other stories so I thought I'd post this as it's pretty much completed in draft form and might inspire my muses on the other one. I'm a relative new fan to the series, so please let me know if I'm messing up on details / writing completely out of character. Feedback is welcomed and greatly appreciated.


	2. In the gym

Disclaimer: NCIS, its wonderful characters and storylines don't belong to me. Which is a good thing, 'cos if they did, I'd never share them with anyone. They'd be MINE, all MINE! Mwah hah hah hah…. _ahem _As I was saying, don't own 'em, no siree.

Many thanks to Shadow Kittie, Theoretical, TATE foreva, Sgully; ollie-xox, Princess Buttercup, Angelii; SHIRI; fischergirl; WiseDreamer; and freitazal – your reviews were all so nice!

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The sympathetic look that Abby had given Tony as they had walked from the lab to the gym did nothing to improve Kate's mood. Whilst Tony dragged his heels getting changed she took out some of her anger on the body bag, feeling unsatisfied when her punches moved it only a couple of inches. Turning her back on Abby's startled look she threw her whole weight into the punches. She was so intent on what she was doing she missed Tony's loud gulp. 

Abby patted Tony's shoulder affectionately and winced as Kate landed a few more heavy punches in quick succession on the bag. She couldn't help but feel that Tony would need more than a little luck just to be able crawl out of the gym once Kate was done with him. Although she trusted Gibbs implicitly, she couldn't help but feel that he might have misjudged this situation. She made an executive decision and cleared her throat.

"Guys, I want a nice clean wrestling match here."

Two pairs of eyes looked over at her. One with confusion, the other with abject gratefulness. She turned her back on them and walked over to the mats, away from the ring to emphasise her statement.

"Hold on Abby. Didn't you listen when we explained? Gibbs said for you to referee while we fight."

Kate's tone was confrontational and bordering on aggressive. Abby chose to ignore it.

"He sure did. And last time I looked, wrestling was fighting. Seeing as _I'm_ the referee, what I say goes. Now, let's rumble!"

"Yeah Katie," Tony chimed in, "don't mess with the referee!"

Both women, as one, stared at him as if he'd grown another head. It was as if his mouth had a death wish for the rest of his body. If that wasn't bad enough, his eyes joined the kill-Tony quest as they unsubtly fixated on where Kate's T-shirt had moulded itself to her body, or rather the most prominent part of her body.

It was like waving a red rag in front of an enraged bull.

Kate charged.

Abby closed her eyes.

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Still worth continuing? Let me know by hitting that review button… 


	3. Seeing stars

Disclaimer: My imaginary lawyer in my head informs me that I do not, in fact, own NCIS, its characters or storylines. Apparently, that's wishful thinking on my part. Did I mention how much I _hate_ my imaginary lawyer?

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. Individual responses at the end of this chapter. Now, on with the plot…

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It seemed that Tony's feet were very much in the 'Keep DiNozzo alive' camp. They neatly side-stepped Kate's charge at the last minute, leaving her nowhere to go but straight into the wall. The speed with which she was moving being sufficient to knock her out, only her outstretched arms saved her from serious injury.

"Tony!" exclaimed a confused Abby, on opening her eyes. "What did you do?"

Tony elected not to answer, but shot her a sarcastic look as he knelt by Kate's head, brushing her fringe from her face and gently feeling along her arms for any signs of a break. Her eyes fluttered open and he leaned in to check for any uneven dilation of their pupils.

"You have nice eyes," a drowsy sounding Kate commented.

That brought a Cheshire cat-like smile onto Tony's face and caused Abby's eyebrows to shoot to the far reaches of her forehead.

"Tell me you heard her say what I think she said," Tony was looking like a small child in a candy store.

Abby whacked him up the backside of his head before saying; "Yes Tony, I heard. But the time for teasing and humiliation is not now."

Although it didn't seem possible, Tony's smile widened further as he realised that Kate's words could be used in perpetuity to mock her.

As Kate groggily tried to get up she had a vague feeling pushing at the back of her consciousness that there was something important she was forgetting. In her concentration on retrieving this information she forgot that she was in the process of standing up and would have fallen had it not been for a pair of arms that quickly encircled her in support.

"Kate?"

"Yeah?" she smiled innocently at him.

"You ok?" DiNozzo had the same expression of worry on his face that appeared whenever Gibbs appeared at an extremely inopportune moment.

Kate was smiling goofily at him and she hadn't slapped away his arms which were currently resting lightly on her hips. All in all it was freaking out Tony. And Abby. Both of them shared a look, silently acknowledging the hinkiness of Kate's behaviour.

"Hey Kate," Abby said in a bright, loud voice, generally reserved for use with very young children, the demented or techno-illiterates on a par with Gibbs, "how 'bout we pay Ducky a visit?"

"Ducky!" Kate exclaimed, "Quack, quack!" she made to waddle ungracefully towards the door.

Tony released his arms from around her, only to have to rush to scoop her up as she pitched forward. He shook his head as she laughed coquettishly and snuggled into his hold. He grinned as she informed him he had 'strong arms'. His grin grew broader as he shouldered open the doors and she told him in a stage-whisper loud enough for the whole gym to hear that he 'smelled good too'.

Walking behind them Abby slapped her forehead. Kate was really going to hate herself when she came back to reality.

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The next chapter won't be up until next weekend (as I'm effectively without access to a PC until then). Until then, I'd appreciate any feedback on this chapter and the story in general.

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed thus far, I'm so chuffed by the response to this!

**Ally-Rae2008**: thanks for the review, sorry I denied you wrestling, but hey, I felt the need to build up a little more tension… don't hate me – I promise you some Kate/Tony physical interaction soon!

**Shirik**: my, you're bossy… see, I updated, but you'll have to wait a little for the next parts.

**Theoretical**: agree with you on the lying in maths and just what is a 'spork'?

**Dragula**: there shall be plenty of clobbering going on, but probably when you least expect it…

**Weing1**: sorry, you'll have to wait 'til the next chapter for any damage to be done to Tony (but don't worry, nothing too serious)

**CelticPuzzleStrangerRangerGrl**: wow! You have the best penname! What's the story behind it?

**StrawberryBlondeHazelEyes**: there most definitely shall be some #cough# Tate. Violence is but a prelude to mushy fluff

**acer****-sigma**: you give the man too much credit, at least for now… Don't worry, Tony does have a plan, he just doesn't know it yet.

**fairyprincessbeaniebaby**: you too have a very cool penname. Erm, have to say that I'm being a little dense, so I'm not sure what you were asking me, hopefully you liked this chapter!

**RubyTrinity**: thanks so much. Sorry, but you'll have to wait at least another chapter before the real fighting starts…

**iceicekatie**: thanks, hope you still like the direction of the story.

**Gibbsgirl**: omg! Can't believe _you've_ reviewed me. I love your fanfic, especially 'Falling for you'. swoons

**TATE foreva**: thanks for coming back and reviewing again, much appreciated. :o)


	4. Visit to the quack

Disclaimer: NCIS is not mine. Damn.

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Sometime between leaving the gym and getting to Ducky's morgue, Kate had had a head-on collision with reality. She had a killer headache that was registering off the richter scale in pain, plus Tony refused to set her down, only telling her that he 'knew she was secretly enjoying their closeness'.

He was also taking every opportunity to remind her of the embarrassing comments she had made when she was spaced out in the gym. Worst of all, she could hear Abby unsuccessfully trying not to laugh behind them.

Kate was at boiling point and Tony was on a high. It was not a good combination.

As Tony set her down on one of the morgue trolleys, her temper snapped and she twisted his ear. His immediate reaction was to pull her hair. Kate's scalp, already highly sensitive from her 'meeting' with a wall, erupted in pain, causing Kate to kick out instinctively, catching Tony in the groin.

"Hey, no fair!" Tony bit out from his foetal position on the floor.

"Seriously DiNozzo, no-one's gonna say the world would be deprived if you were unable to procreate."

Tony made to pull Kate off the table, only to be thwarted by Abby stepping firmly between them.

"Cut it out you guys!" Pain is only to be inflicted when I say so."

Tony slowly rose and backed over to lean by the sink, before saying, "She started it."

"Only because you were being totally juvenile, Tony."

"Me? _Excuse me _for being a gentleman and helping you out."

"The only way you could ever help me DiNozzo is by dropping dead."

"Nice try Todd. And ordinarily I'd be hurt, but everyone heard you admit your true feelings for me in the gym."

Before Kate could respond, an angry voice interrupted.

"Anthony, Caitlin that is _ENOUGH!"_

Ducky had entered the room and was extremely displeased at having his sanctum disturbed by the bickering agents. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, the eccentric pathologist took in the appearance of the two agents.

"Agents Todd and DiNozzo, I shall seriously be displeased if I find out that you have allowed your disagreements to descend into an all out fight."

As neither Kate, Tony nor Abby would meet his eye, Ducky realised that he had hit the nail on the head.

"Good grief! Why on… What… How do you think Gibbs'll react when he finds out? And Abby, I'm surprised at you, allowing the situation to degenerate so far."

"Actually Ducky, the fight option has Gibbs' blessing. He's the one who ordered me to referee."

If it had been any other set of agents Ducky might have been taken aback, but Gibbs' team was unique and worked to its own rules. He'd know Gibbs a long time. Enough to not question his judgement on these matters, despite his misgivings. He looked closely at the three young adults in front of him. Kate was still avoiding making eye contact and Abby and Tony seemed to be engaged in a furious silent argument between themselves, judging by the waggling eyebrows and head twitches in Kate's direction.

Fearing he could be waiting all afternoon for someone to speak, he took the initiative and moved closer to Kate, who was still regarding her shoes with concentrated intensity. As he peered beneath the curtain of hair enclosing her face he could just make out the beginnings of an ugly red lump on her forehead.

"A head injury!" Ducky was seriously disconcerted. Although he knew that Kate and Tony wound each other up, he never believed that it would lead to malicious violence between the two.

Abby could pretty much read Ducky's thoughts and decided to fill him in on the story so far. She could see from Kate's posture that her friend couldn't quite bring herself to admit out loud what had actually happened.

As the story was related to him, Ducky continued his exam of Kate. He couldn't help but feel that there was slightly more to the tale than was being told. Kate was uncharacteristically quiet and still seemed to be upset. Tony, as usual, wasn't giving any of his real thoughts away.

"Well Caitlin, I'm afraid it's to bed with you. Tony take her home and stay with her. She needs to rest."

"What? _No. _Uh-uh, no way. Tony is NOT taking me home. Abby'll do it."

The elder man shook his head, "Sorry Agent Todd, but I need to be certain that there's no internal bleeding. Your pupils were a bit sluggish reacting to the light, someone has to stay with you for the next 24 hours, unless you want to stay in hospital."

"But why _Tony_?"

"Really my dear, I know that you agents are having a slow week, but we scientists are actually pretty busy down here. Abby just can't be spared."

Abby looked apologetically at her best friend. "Sorry Kate, it's true. I didn't really have time to referee, but since Gibbs gave the order and I figured it'd be over pretty quick…"

"Hey!" Tony knew that if people had to put money on the fight, most would've backed Kate, but he felt he needed to put on at least a little show of indignation.

"What? It's true, you wouldn't last five minutes." Abby rolled her eyes at him and turned back to Kate, "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

She turned and gave Tony one of her super-glares, "You better take good care of her mister!" She poked him in the chest for effect, before walking out of the morgue.

"Quite right Agent DiNozzo. Agent Todd is to take it easy for the next day. I am entrusting you to make sure of that."

"Awww, Ducky," whined Tony

"Anthony, I'm deadly serious. For the next 24hours you are to cater to Kate's every whim and make sure she rests. If I hear otherwise…"

Ducky left the threat unspoken and chose to inspect his very sharp scalpels, holding them up, twisting and turning them so the light bounced onto Tony's face.

Tony gulped. Kate smirked.

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Author's note: Okay, first off, apologies for any typos / errors. I'm typing at breakneck speed at a very expensive computer hire place and I can't afford to check this thoroughly.

Second, thanks to everyone who's reviewed. Again, because of time / money factors I can't go through and individually list reviewers. However, if you review and have any suggestions of what evil tasks Kate can make Tony do while he's caring for her, I'll try and get them into the next chapter by way of thanks!

Next update in a week (hopefully).


	5. Shopping at the Mall

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. If I did, Kate would be alive and Tony would be locked in my bedroom. (sigh!) Oh and to be safe, I don't own revlon either (read on to find out why that disclaimer's necessary)

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As the blocks flew by an idea for payback started to form in Kate's mind. She peeked over at Tony. He was nervously drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. The noise he was creating was surprisingly loud. It was rather irritating. In fact, it was downright annoying. 

"Tony, stop it!"

"Huh?" He looked over at her, completely bemused, fingers still dancing manically on the leather of the wheel. Unaware of what he was doing. It only made her feel more cross.

"The noise Tony," here she paused and pointedly stared at his hands, "it's really hurting my head."

"Right, sure thing."

His fingers stilled and he turned away from her looking pensive. Complete silence engulfed the car and he went back to contemplating just how many pieces Ducky would cut him into if Kate reported he'd been anything less than diligent in his babysitting task. He gulped audibly when he thought of the many years the elder pathologist had had in observing murder, discerning the best techniques for committing an untraceable crime. His one comfort was that Gibbs would be bound to smell a rat, although he'd been pretty pissed off earlier so maybe he wouldn't look too closely…

Kate watched as they crossed yet another intersection where the turn would've taken them to her part of town. It was easy from the emotions flitting across Tony's face that he was distracted by Ducky's not so subtle threats. She smiled to herself. Despite what she said out loud she knew that at heart, Tony was incredibly sensitive about not letting down those he cared about. Which was why, more often than not, he would run around like an over-excited puppy whenever Gibbs or Ducky asked him to do anything. He was desperate to please; sometimes it was almost painful to watch. And now he was feeling guilty about her getting hurt. This gave her a weapon against him, and she intended to fully exploit it. As they went over another set of lights she decided to begin the payback.

"Where are we going?"

"Boy, you really must have dislodged a load of brain cells if," Tony trailed off as he realised he'd totally missed turning to get to Kate's place.

Kate smirked at him causing him to plaster on one of his 100 watt smiles that he knew got on her nerves. He really hated when she got that superior look on her face, it took all his self-restraint to bite back the sarcastic put down that rose in his throat. It was a hard battle. Sniping with Kate was as natural as breathing for him. It came instinctively. Something about the vibe that she gave off just put him into combative mode, he couldn't help it. Trying to conjure calming thoughts in his head he tried to respond as civilly as he could.

"I thought you might like to take the scenic route home."

No matter that they were now driving through downtown, as concrete a landscape as you could ever imagine. It was the best comment he was able to come up with.

"Actually, this might work out ok. You can turn off into the mall on the next strip and pick up some stuff for me."

Something in his gut told Tony that this was not going to be the simple task it seemed on the surface, but he had no choice but to comply.

(some time later)

He shut the door as sulkily as he dared as he once again thought about how unfair life could be. More particularly, how fate often fingered him to be on the receiving end of life's crueller jokes. He had to admit, Kate was doing pretty well as life's dastardly sidekick. He stalked moodily into the mall and angrily went up to the store directory to find all the places Kate had listed he'd have to go to. She'd been very specific and told him where he had to buy each item from. Even though she only wanted ten or so things, he'd have to visit at least five stores to get them. The mall was quite crowded. He'd be lucky if he finished in under an hour.

After forty minutes he'd almost finished his quest. He'd picked up her shoes that were waiting for collection, got some false eyelashes and pearls from a little costume jewellery store that had been so well tucked away and concealed that it'd taken him more than ten minutes to find it and found the fishnet stockings that she'd requested he get from a rather kinky shop that he never thought Kate would venture into. He guessed that she was probably hoping he'd be a bit embarrassed about it all, but from having more than a few girlfriends who liked to walk on the wild side, it didn't faze him at all.

He'd also noticed that there were a fair few good looking ladies gracing the mall and made a mental note that this could be another venue to cruise when he was bored. It hadn't escaped his attention either that he was getting checked out a lot by the women he was passing.

So it was with a slight bounce in his step that he entered one of the larger department stores in search of the penultimate item on his list. When he saw the gorgeous brunette behind the counter of the Revlon concession he felt the smile on his face increase, aware of the covert glances that he was getting from the women that he passed.

"Hi there. I'm Cindy, can I help?"

Encouraged by Cindy's enthusiastic greeting, Tony leaned forward on the glass table top and beamed brilliantly at her.

"Hey there, Cindy. I need some Glow Rosy Color Beam Sheer nail polish."

"That's our latest line and the most popular colour – you really know your polish! You're in luck, it's been flying off the shelves but we just got a new shipment through. I just need to go out back to fetch it."

As she disappeared into the back of the store, Tony speculated if it was his knowing exactly which brand or which color he needed that had impressed Cindy the most. He reflected that it might be worthwhile investing in improving his knowledge of cosmetics in order to reap the benefits of being able to converse intelligently with beauty counter girls and score their numbers. After all, they always looked good and presented themselves well, even if, at times, their conversation could be limited.

Tony drifted further into his contemplation and failed to notice that some of the other female store assistants had joined him.

"You know, I'm so glad that nowadays you feel so comfortable that you can come in here and buy your make-up openly."

"Excuse me?" Tonv looked quizzically at the woman, identified as 'Lizzy' who had appeared at his elbow.

"Yeah," her friend 'Jo' continued, "I mean, it's about time y'know? It's the freaking second millennium, you should be able to buy all the products you like an be as open as you want about it."

"Ooookay." Tony looked from Jo to Lizzy trying to figure out exactly what they were talking about.

"You show them honey. Be proud of who you are. I bet you look a real doll when you're all made up!"

Tony's head whipped round to the woman who had chimed in from the Max Factor concession. His brain was attempting to process what was going on. It was reaching an answer but seemed unwilling toaccept it.

They couldn't. No. That would be impossible. Why would they think… His thought processes slammed into the brick wall of reality as he viewed himself from their perspective. These women knew the mall, knew all the shops. They'd taken in all the bags he was carrying, the female shoe shop, the gaudy jewellery shop and the racy lingerie shop. Now he was buying nail polish, and they had all concluded that he was either a cross dresser or a transvestite. That was why Kate had insisted that the nail polish had to be bought from this store – she knew how he worked and knew from its location that he'd hit this store towards the end of the list.

There was nothing he could say. Any denial wouldn't be believed. It was catch-22. All he could do was grit his teeth, not react and save his rage for Kate. Injured or not, this wasn't something he could just her get away with.

He almost snatched the bag from Cindy as he hurried to the pharmacy, the calls of encouragement from all the women working the store ringing in his ears. At least all he had to do in the pharmacy was get some shampoo.

After five minutes of searching fruitlessly in the third aisle, where all the shampoos were, for the brand Kate had listed he admitted defeat and resigned himself to having to ask the pimply youth at the till for help.

"Hey buddy, can you tell me if you stock Lindane shampoo? My friend swore you'd have it."

Although the notion that Kate might have been less than truthful was a distinct possibility, he didn't want to have to get into an explanation with the kidwho looked confused enough as it was. The boy looked scared witless that he'd been asked a question.

"Have you tried aisle 3? That's where all the shampoos usually are."

Tony rolled his eyes and gave a look that told the unfortunate cashier that his response had been the wrong one.

"Of course you already have, that why you're asking," he stuttered, before raising his voice and calling into the back office for help.

After a moment a kindly looking middle aged man with greying hair came out. He was wearing a white lab coat so it seemed a fair bet that he was the pharmacist.

"Yes?" he peered enquiringly over his black rimmed spectacles at Tony.

"I'm looking for a particular brand of shampoo, it's called Lindane. I hear you guys stock it."

The man nodded and moved towards the far aisle. As soon as they were out of earshot of the checkout operator he turned and said conspiratorially, "Got caught out, huh? Probably best to go to an STD clinic and get checked out properly."

With that he patted Tony's left shoulder paternally and handed him a small box. Tony's jaw hung aimlessly as he read the text on the box.

'Lindane shampoo, fast effective treatment of pubic lice.'

He was going to kill her.

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a/n: Thankyou to everyone who's reviewed so far. I know it's been ages since I updated – I'm sorry, I hope this was worth the wait. More soon – possibly in two weeks time. 

Please, please review and let me know if anyone's still reading this and if you still care about this pairing. I'm aware that the ship Tate is now sadly in AU world.


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